Literary Beauty
"I’m always amazed at friends who say they try to read at night in bed but always end up falling asleep. I have the opposite problem. If a book is good I can’t go to sleep, and stay up way past my bedtime, hooked on the writing. Is anything better than waking up after a late-night read and diving right back into the plot before you even get out of bed to brush your teeth?" -John Walters
I LOVE reading. Although, I didn't actually start readingreading until July of 2012 when I got my Nook, the love of my life.
Abbreviations I use in my reviews:
WTS (Wrist Twitch Syndrome) - The compulsory jerking of the wrist in an effort to pitch the nook away from the body to reduce mental anguish and self inflicted bodily harm.
ERS (Eye Roll Syndrome)- The act of rolling one’s eyes multiple times in a matter of mere minutes.
The severity of this syndrome tend to vary from benign eye rolls every now and then, depending on the situation and protagonist, to intense eye rolls, of which, cause the body to seize up for minutes at a time.
**Both symptoms tend to manifest as a result of naive, stupid, clueless, lovesick, rose-glasses wearing puddle-depth fucktard protagonists or an ag-on-izing storyline.
Hmm ok now come on. Ian obviously has some issues, this man gets angry for the most asinine reasons, really you're going to get mad because she's just too damn sexy and you can't rip her apart with your cock? whothefuckareyoukidding? Dude wants to cause her physical pain! With his cock! And he is incredibly possessive right out of the gate, when did that become a turn on? Then to add her epic fail at anger? Please, my four year holds a longer grudge!"She paused but refused to turn around. Humiliation had started to brew with her anger. If she looked at his gorgeous, smug face, she might explode."Are you fucking kidding me!? I'm 100% sure that when Angelina gets pissed at Brad Pitt (B.S.H.B.-Before Scraggly Homeless Beard), the last thing on her mind is his gorgeous goddamned face! Shut up! Just shut the fuck up.
There was another Fifty Shades Déjà vu, oh you remember; Christian Ian saving Anastasia Francesca from herself and that liquor? But Ian Noble is in another playing field than Christian Grey. At least Christian was gentleman enough to bring her back to his hotel and let her sleep it off rather than dominating her the very same night. This guy is a fucking psycho.
Then her rattling on about his experience..YOU ARE A VIRGIN, what the fuck do you know about experience? He is spanking your ass with his hand! When are spankings not "precise, firm, and quick but hurried"? What the opposite of that? Sloppy and slow? Does a spanking get sloppy and slow? Again, shut up.
Oh and last but not least, Ian depositing the money into Francesca's bank account AND she can choose to finish the painting if she wants to? No, no honey, that's called he just paid you to have sex with him, in other words...you just became his personal hooker.
Congratulations.