5 Following

Literary Beauty

"I’m always amazed at friends who say they try to read at night in bed but always end up falling asleep. I have the opposite problem. If a book is good I can’t go to sleep, and stay up way past my bedtime, hooked on the writing. Is anything better than waking up after a late-night read and diving right back into the plot before you even get out of bed to brush your teeth?" -John Walters 

LOVE reading. Although, I didn't actually start readingreading until July of 2012 when I got my Nook, the love of my life.

Abbreviations I use in my reviews:

WTS (Wrist Twitch Syndrome) - The compulsory jerking of the wrist in an effort to pitch the nook away from the body to reduce mental anguish and self inflicted bodily harm. 

ERS (Eye Roll Syndrome)The act of rolling one’s eyes multiple times in a matter of mere minutes.

The severity of this syndrome tend to vary from benign eye rolls every now and then, depending on the situation and protagonist, to intense eye rolls, of which, cause the body to seize up for minutes at a time.

**Both symptoms tend to manifest as a result of naive, stupid, clueless, lovesick, rose-glasses wearing puddle-depth fucktard protagonists or an ag-on-izing storyline.

Currently reading

Frankenstein: Prodigal Son
Scott Brick, Kevin J. Anderson, Dean Koontz

Fade Into You (Fade, #1)

Fade Into You (Fade, #1) - Kate Dawes Wait. What?! Question: Is this to be expected from all books labeled "erotica"? Cause this is not a fictional tale of two people, it's a manuscript for a porno. It is seriously a porno written down...yeah, like before they act it out and your helping them commit their lines to memory. No, it is. Don't believe me? Well then go ahead and take and hour of your day and read it...it'll only take an hour or so, if that...cause it's only 40 some odd pages...just do it and get back to me.

Those who harumphed and humphed about how poorly written 50 Shades was, never laid their eyes on this little gem. The characters have zero depth and there isn't even a storyline...*shrug* well not one that makes any sense any way. Shit just happens. Inconsequential characters are introduced. Equally insignificant dialog takes place. People show up. People are rescued in the same millisecond (talk about being in the right place at the right time huh?)...


At one point I believe Liv answered the door to a "UPS" guy wearing silver aviators, sporting an untamed curly fro and donning brown 1970's basketball shorts and a 3/4 buttoned down brown dress shirt that was not without the sexiest tuft of chest fro and holding a package a little too close to his person, says "Good day ma'am, I'm here to deliver this package" Then confused Olivia pouted, tilted her head slightly to the right with finger placed thoughtfully to her chin replied "hmmm, I don't remember ordering anything..." and the UPS guy said "Oh, so you didn't order this GI-GAN-TIC COCK in a box?!" whilst holding firmly on to that conveniently placed package thrusting his hips into it and biting his bottom lip (no doubt showing her what exactly that package could do!) Then surprised Olivia turned to Max and gasped "Oh Max, did you order me this cock?! You are so kind! It wasn't even my birthday! I just knew it was love at first sight! After only 24 hours, you have infiltrated that oh so impenetrable wall I constructed! And I am still absolutely astounded that you know me so well Max!" and then the UPS guy replied "Well aren't you one lucky lady, all I need is a signature right here...oh, you don't have a pen? It's ok, I have one right here (gesturing to his cock of which he is firmly gripping and stroking with his hands) and you can just sign with your pussy!" then Olivia bit the tip of her finger, turned to Max with a devilish smile and said "It's a good thing I'm ambidextrous cause I'm definitely going to need two pens!"...and then the party gets started! Whooo!

Ok. Maybe it didn't happen, but if it did I probably would have given it three stars if it did...maybe.


Olivia claims to have built this fortress around her heart, but three chapters in she's getting fingered in Max Dalton's office (and three chapters ain't alotta time honey)...now who would have thought that in reality that "fortress" turned out to be constructed out of a couple of decks of playing cards on a flimsy poker table? And who knew that the sheer force of a massive, ungodly sized erection could knock those cards right on off that table?...I assure you, I did not.

Everything is just rushed, one second they are like "I got baggage" and the next they are like "Now that we've unpacked that baggage and completely glossed over the fact that we were cautious a second ago...you and me belong together...I could tell you were different since the first time we almost had sex after knowing each other for 2.5 miliseconds...cause that in no way qualifies as a one night stand" Please. Get da fuck outta hee-a!

Now on to book two...What? Don't judge me, it's only 40-something pages and my wrist-twitch syndrome is dormant...

and the "erotic" is good.